Article written by Roman Mica

You know you ARE a Triathlete when:

• Your favorite clothes contain the words "Cool" or "Max." and…
  
• At work you realize the reason your under-arms feel remarkable smooth, free, yet stinky, is that you've mistakenly applied Body Glide instead of Deodorant and…
  
• Going for a short jog means running through your entire lunch break and…
  
• Transitions are not a type of prescription sun glass or time of profound personal change and…
  
• You know precisely what size of wet suit, running shoe, bike shoe fits you to the exact half size and…
  
• You know the name of several bike seat manufactures and
  
• You know how to change a bike tire and…
  
• You don't know how to change a bike tire but you've tried during a race and…
  
• You have a multi-colored collection of swim caps and…
  
• Your refrigerator has more sports drinks than beer and…
  
• An easy swim is any distance less than 1500 yards and…
  
• You plan your vacations around your training for your A, B or C race and…
  
• You know the difference between an A, B or C race and…
  
• When traveling you select your hotel based on the exercise room and…
  
• You've run a marathon, but never just by itself and…
  
• You're a morning person and…
  
• You were an evening person who is now a morning person and…
  
• You're favorite bar has the word "power", "cliff" "energy" and not "Cheers" and...
  
• You know what Plantar Fasciitis, and how to pronounce it and…
  
• You know your resting, max, and zone 1-4 heart rates and…
  
• Spending $2000 on a bike seems reasonable and…
  
• Helmet head is your most recognizable hair style and…
  
• You shave way too many body parts for a guy and…
  
• Bloody nipples are something you know all too much about and…
  
• You know how to easily remove permanent black marker from your skin and…
  
• Your furniture has faint numbers on it since you don't know how to easily remove permanent black marker from your skin and…
  
• You've had a recent conversation that contained the words, Aero, PB, PR, Split, diarrhea, rack, goggles, non-stick Pam, butt burn, black toe nail, Bento and…
  
• You can swim a sub 1:00 minute 100 yards without flip turns and…
  
• That something hard between your legs is usually a pull buoy and…
  
• Drafting is not a football or baseball recruiting term and…
  
• You have the word "Triathlon" on your Tivo's wish list and…
  
• Your car has a USAT sticker and…
  
• Your car has a bike rack and…
  
• Your idea of fast food is a power bar and Gatorade and…
  
• You keep a set of workout clothes in your car and…
  
• Your friends and family think you are a complete exercise fanatic and…
  
• You've crossed the finish line with your friends and family and…
  
• You are reading this.

You know you are NOT a Triathlete when:

• A 10K is your dream engagement ring and …
  
• Your long running pants are either 1) made of fleece and/or 2) have boot cut legs and…
  
• Your sunglasses are big and round or change color and…
  
• You don't like to run when its too hot, cold, dark, wet, sunny or early and…
  
• You don't know how to change a bike tire and can't think of reason to learn and…
  
• You only take 1 shower per day and….
  
• Biking up hills and mountains seems silly and…
  
• The breast stroke is your fastest stroke and…
  
• Running up hills and mountains seems really silly and…
  
• You Carbo-load on a daily basis…
  
• Swimming in a cold lake seems just stupid and…
  
• Drafting only occurs in the military and….
  
• Breathing hard and getting sweating is something you try to avoid unless you are in bed and…
  
• You've never been stung by a bee and…
  
• GU is something found under a desk and best avoided and…
  
• You can swim a sub 90 second 100 yards with flip turns and…
  
• Every marathon you've run has started early in the morning and…
  
• An easy jog is something you do once or twice a week for about the average length of a sitcom minus the commercial breaks and…
  
• Your idea of fast food is a burger and fries and…
  
• When you "Catch Up" you don't do it in the pool and…
  
• Kona is a place, not an event and…
  
• ITU stands for the International Technical University and…
  
• The last time you ran fast was to catch the bus and…
  
• Fueling up means putting gas in your car and…
  
• Eating healthy involves diet coke and…
  
• Your friends and family don't know you exercise and…
  
• You cross the finish line alone and…
  
• You are not reading this.